posted tagged with #Week-Notes

• it's second nature to love you (week notes 014)

  first week notes in a while so some of this might not be strictly “this week”

  Doing

  • I turned 30. I had a big party with lots of friends — and I feel grateful to have so many folks who want to celebrate with me, including some who drove substantial distances. I still have a bunch of mixed up feelings about crossing this threshold, but I’m trying to remember the advice of a friend: it’s a gift to grow older.
  • This maybe belongs under a playing heading, but maybe not: I picked up Ring Fit Adventure for the first time since the pandemic. It’s getting to be too cold out to run, so I need an alternate fitness option. My most reliable gym buddy moved away, so I’m seeing if I can get Ring Fit to stick again. I am definitely in way better shape than when I was playing years ago; I would feel faint after 20-30 minutes in the game, but my first session was over 30 minutes and I felt fine (albeit sweaty) after. Turning 30 feels like an inflection point where I need to get serious about losing weight.
  • I also went to the gym for the first time in months to run on the treadmill. With snow season upon us, I need to transition to indoor running. I like it quite a bit less, but I don’t want to lose progress.
  • We had our first big snow of the season on Friday, which meant a (much-needed) lazy snow day at home.

  Watching

  • Daria, season four. I started rewatching Daria around Halloween because I dressed as her for the holiday. I still love it and I still hate Tom.
  • Friends at the Table’s Fields of Mistria streams. I’m not a FatT fan — actual play podcasts do not appeal to me at all — but Joe is, and I otherwise like a lot of the personalities on the show. Ali is probably my favorite and Joe and I love farming games like Mistria a whole lot.

  Playing

  • Pokémon Crystal Legacy. I had a hankering of Gen 2 nostalgia hit me, so I’ve been working my way through this ROM hack. I know a lot of my love for Gen 2 stems from it being my first Pokémon — and, indeed, one of the first games I really ever played — but I’m happy to report that it’s just as charming as I remember.

  Listening

  • Rainbow Kitten Surprise, RKS. Listened on the recommendation of a friend; I was concerned initially because I really didn’t like the first track (my words: “Big garage vibes. Like shit you listen to while you work on your motorcycle”), but after that hump, I really loved the album. My tops are “Cold Love,” “Wasted,” “All’s Well That Ends,” and “Lady Lie.” “Cold Love” in particular has really hung around in my head.
  24 Nov 2024
• spend my days running in circles (week notes 013)

  Doing

  • I presented to pre-service teachers at my alma mater with a colleague! Emotionally, I still feel like I was in their spot not that long ago — and then I remember I graduated over six years ago (and into a vastly different world and job market).
  • I’m finding myself using ellipses a lot and I do not like it. Is this growing old? Am I becoming a boomer?
  • I’m thinking about maintaining some kind of daily log — just simple, passing notes on what I did, what I thought about. Obsidian has this feature built in and it might be a good way to start. I like the idea of it being searchable and (theoretically) infinite in size, but I also want an excuse for another notebook.
    • I used to do daily reflections at the end of my work day. Slowly, those became every few days, then every week, then rarely. It was a good practice that I wish I had maintained, but there’s already so much I’m packing into my work day — and my goal in daily notes is to be more mindful about what I’m doing and thinking in my free time.
  • I attended my state-wide English teacher conference; this is something like my sixth or seventh time attending and I still find it valuable. I left with a lot of great ideas on how to diversify my practice and better empower my students.

  Watching

  • Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Joe and I have watched a few episodes. I liked the book fine, but the TV show has yet to grab me. It lacks Percy’s narrative voice (and personality), and while it’s good that Percy is played by an actual child, his pre-pubescent voice freaks me out.
  • Broad City. Joe and I watched a lot of Broad City early in our relationship, but we never finished it. We are starting it over from the beginning. Still funny!

  Listening

  • Charli XCX, Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat. Every re-release and new drop for brat innovates, co-exists, and complements. The features on this remix album feel like an ode to the remarkable original release and a statement of how pivotal the album has been personally and for the industry writ large. This version of “Everything is romantic” is as much a remix as an iteration; the original captures a single moment in beautiful, mimetic detail, and this one is another artist following the theme and form with their own experiences. brat is undoubtedly a project we’ll all be talking about when we discuss the music of the 2020s; I love witnessing its creation in real time.
    • For the haters, a friend of mine said the mixing was bad and that it “just sounds like noise.” I still like her (Charli and the friend, in that order¹).
  • Foxholes, Foxholes. I found “Alligator” while going through Daytrotter archives and loved it; the rest of the album is pleasant listening, but “Alligator” is the stand out.
  • Yung Lean, Stardust. I loved Yung Lean’s feature on Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat; imagine my surprise when I discovered that the esoteric bullshit (or so I thought) I was listening to ten+ years ago as a joke but not really went on to be a critically recognized artist. I thought it was just a weird fucking song.
    • Stardust is a much more polished and, dare I say, coherent and digestible² product than “Hurt”; I like it, but I’m not sure any of the songs will earn the coveted ⭐ on Plex.³ It’s music I’d have to be in a mood for — although the mumble-y nature of it makes it good background music while working. Maybe it just needs to sit with me a little more.

  ---

  1. just kidding :-) ↩︎

  20 Oct 2024
• what would it mean for us if i fell off this slide? (week notes 012)

  I’m doing a condensed post this week because I have been so busy with work!

  • Joe and I finished our rewatch of Gilmore Girls, and I’m happy to say that I still love the show. It goes downhill in season six and is borderline unwatchable in season seven, but I have such affection for all before that — especially the warm blanket, cozy autumn early seasons.

  13 Oct 2024
• but let's talk about you for a minute (week notes 011)

  I’m doing two weeks in one post. Last week I was dead sick and working too much so I didn’t assemble a post throughout the week as I normally do.

  6 Oct 2024
• I know if I don't go now I won't make it out (week notes 010)

  Doing

  • My volleyball rec league started back up! I’m awful and uncoordinated on the court, but it’s fun to play with friends, and I have learned the hard way that I’m a lot less depressed when I’m active.
  • I’m enjoying reading ex-cohost folks on the bearblog discovery feed. The trending feed can get a little stale.¹ I hope they stick around.
  • I took a walk (and a run) with a dear friend that I’ve been trying to get together with for a while. She’s decades older than me, but we are incredibly like-minded. Kindred spirits. I appreciate her wisdom and guidance and friendship immensely as she listens to all my neuroses.
  • On Sunday night, Joe and I went to a wedding for two of our best friends. Maybe I’ll make a longer post with all that stirs up for me — thoughts on marriage and commitment…
  • Unfortunately, I left the wedding feeling sick. COVID test was negative so here’s hoping it’s just allergies from the changing season.

  Reading

  • No One Belongs Here More than You, Miranda July. I stand by what I said last week. I think I need a break from the sexual deviants I’m apparently (and unconsciously) selecting lately. I’m glad to be done with this; I appreciated July’s occasional wit and found it Handler-esque, but those touches were few and far between, and the rest of it mostly just grossed me out.
  • My next books will be The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating, recommended by a friend and coworker, and, I think, Into the Wild, which I’ve always meant to read. It might not seem like much for an English teacher, but these past few months I’ve been reading for pleasure more than I have in years and it has me feeling so full. It’s great to rediscover that joy.²
  • “Linkin Park, From Zero” by n3verm0re. I’m not a Linkin Park fan by any means, but I have been interested in seeing how a group reawakens after such a tremendous loss. I really enjoyed this piece about it.

  Listening

  • Green Dream in F# and Rare Birds, The Bug Club. I asked a student of mine what kind of music she listened to; she said her music was too weird and I’d probably never heard of it. I took that as a personal challenge. But it’s not that weird — although, as an (ex?) Xiu Xiu listener, my barometer is off. I liked both albums! They’re light, fun listening, and absolutely up my alley.
  • Romance is Boring, Los Campesinos! Listening to the music students of mine like has me thinking about the music I was in love with at their age. RiB came out at the exact right time for me and holds a special place in my heart. I listen to tracks from it often, but this was the first time I’d revisited some deeper cuts, like “Who Fell Asleep In,” in years.
  • All Hell, Los Campesinos! I’m still forming my larger thoughts on All Hell, but it was interesting to compare side-by-side with RiB. It is far more even and consistent in quality — RiB has some all-timers but also some real duds (“Plan A”) — but there is a visceral, adolescent melodrama to RiB that All Hell lacks. All Hell is instead grown up and wistfully forlorn, especially compared to juggernauts like “I Just Sighed.” Both are good and appropriate for me at different times and headspaces, but RiB holds more of hook — although I have fifteen years of relationship and baggage with it compared to All Hell.
  • I’m thinking about a recurring theme in songs I am or have been fixated on —
    • “Drops (reprise),” The Peripheral Ones - “I know if I don’t go now I won’t make it out”
      • “The Whale Song,” Modest Mouse - “I guess I am a scout / so I should find a way out / so everyone can find a way out”
    • “Ave Maria,” Mac Miller - “Have you found a way out?” & “Come Back to Earth” - “I just need a way out of my head / I’ll do anything for a way out of my head”
  • — the idea of making it out is, of course, not a unique theme, but perhaps it’s why The House on Mango Street resonated with me: “For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.”

  ---

  1. I think posts don’t decay quickly enough from the feed, and the top page or two of trending posts are all by the same handful of people. There’s a handful of very active posters, which is a great thing, but I like to see variety there. ↩︎

  22 Sep 2024
• 666 with a princess streak (week notes 009)

  Doing

  • Working on getting off big corporate social media, still. I’m almost entirely off Twitter; I keep the app just because I have a few notifications set for when specific people tweet (mostly bands who tweet out tour dates), but I’m otherwise mostly on Mastodon (social.lol) and Discord. Cohost going down was sad to see even if I was never an active user and there were problems with it, but its downfall impressed on me even further the importance of owning your content — and it made me really happy to have this space for my thoughts and writing.
  • I got my COVID booster and flu shot on Friday, which put me out of order for some time. Glad to have them done, however; one day of discomfort is worth it!
  • The weight of being a teacher really set on me this week — not the teaching work, which I love, but the emotional weight of my students’ lives. It’s especially hard to see kids that remind me of myself at their age and wish I could impart all that I’ve learned — but knowing that there are no shortcuts and that the only way out for them is through. I can’t pluck them out; they have to live it. I can only hope to be there for them as they do.

  Reading

  • No One Belongs Here More than You, Miranda July. This has been in my Amazon wishlist for I don’t know how long — long enough that I’ve forgotten where I’d found it or why I’d wanted to read it. I liked the cover a lot, I guess. Anyway, I feel this is suffering from my reading it so soon after Death Is Not an Option as I have much of the same opinion: excellent prose but turned off by all the weird sex.¹ I find July’s narrators and conceits to be far more varied than Rivecca’s, but Rivecca never made me read about an old man who fantasizes about teenage girls, so I automatically like her better.
  • Meet Lochlan O’Neil, the creator of DashCon on Garbage Day. “I had to go to extensive therapy because I was like, “oh my god, I, Lochlan O’Neil, single-handedly destroyed fandom culture?”

  Watching

  • Pokémon 4Ever. Joe and I got our shit rocked by the COVID and flu shots and decided to watch this. Middling, but a surprising environmentalist message. I’m realizing how much of who Joe is goes back to Pokémon, of all things.
  • Gilmore Girls, season five. Joe and I went back in for a few episodes in our shot stupor. Still enjoyable, but we are quickly gaining on the last of the good episodes in my opinion.

  Listening

  • i,i, Bon Iver. Not bad, but I like For Emma and 22, A Million far more.
  • Chants, The Peripheral Ones. I’ve said before that this album is perhaps the most esoteric of my bullshit; it’s a cover album of a little-known² Myspace-era band, The Middle Ones, done by pigthe (the guitarist for Trust Fund). The album is obscure enough that it’s not on MusicBrainz (I’m aware that I could add it) and the band has 23 listeners on last.fm. I love it and go back to it often.

  ---

  1. reading these books back to back has left me wondering if I’m somehow unconsciously selecting books only written by deviants or if I’m just so vanilla that my gauge for sexual content is skewed ↩︎

  15 Sep 2024
• the birds remember how to come home (week notes 008)

  Doing

  • School is officially back in session, so my free time is much more limited now. I’m optimistic for the year, though!

  Reading

  • Death Is Not an Option by Suzanne Rivecca. Finished at last. I have not much new to say compared to last week. I felt a notable sense of relief to be done with it and free to move on.
  • Write as you wish: a call to bring back the prose by Marisabel. I’m not a good enough writer for this to be applicable, so call this aspirational reading.
  • back at it & social media free by kristin. I’ve pretty much dropped Twitter in the last few weeks — I really want to separate myself from toxic online spaces.
  • Please please please please please please share your big dumb beautiful self with the world by Keenan. “What does it look like to put yourself on a page, or in a photo, or a brushstroke, or a string plucked and reverberating harmoniously out into the room? When does the screaming inside become loud enough, so all-encompassing that you open up the door to let it pour out of you?”

  Watching

  • America’s Next Top Model, cycle three. Top Model is my comfort show right now. I love the first seven cycles best, but cycle three has a special place in my heart. It’s one of the first cycles I ever saw and has one of the most entertaining casts. The modelling itself is pretty poor, but that’s not really what Top Model was about.
  • Run Button’s Star Wars Outlaws streams. I’m really interested in Outlaws based on what I’ve seen; Keith has been complaining about the stealth a lot in the streams, but I think a good amount of that has been player error.

  Playing

  • Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. I’ve tried to get Joe to play KotOR for years, but he was turned off by the combat. We listened to A More Civilized Age’s coverage together, though (he’s a big Friends at the Table fan), and it got him interested in KotOR II (despite my insisting for years that it is the finest piece of Star Wars media). We’re playing through together — me with the controller but collectively making decisions. We’re still on Peragus (gross), but I’m enjoying revisiting it. This will be my first time playing it in at least ten years and my first time with the restored content mod.

  Listening

  • Life’s a Riot With Spy vs Spy, Billy Bragg. I like “A New England” a whole lot; the rest was good but didn’t grab me. There’s a sparseness and intimacy that struck me when I first heard “A New England,” but the novelty had worn off for the other tracks.
  • For Emma, Forever Ago, Bon Iver. I listened to this all the way through one night and it unfortunately really spoke to me. I know I’ve listened through it before, years ago, and I didn’t care for anything except “Skinny Love”; this time around, every track hit.
  • “Bishop, CA” and “Wig Master,” Xiu Xiu. I swore off Xiu Xiu back in 2013 or so after listening to them heavily during a deep depression; I’m not cold turkey on them anymore, but they’re not in my regular rotation either. I’ve been thinking of these two, some of my favorites then.¹

  ---

  1. in so far as any Xiu Xiu song is a “favorite” and not “a desperate cry for help” ↩︎

  8 Sep 2024
• I guess I feel a bit lost without you (week notes 007)

  Doing

  • I re-did my website! I’ve detailed it all in a separate post, but I’m really excited about making weird stuff online here. I will miss being on the bearblog discovery feed, but this is also a push for me to get involved more on webrings & other small web communities.¹
  • I’m starting to get my classroom ready for the school year. I’m really excited about some of the changes I’m making — the physical layout of the room, curricular changes, routines, and philosophies. We go back to school on Tuesday, so this is really the end stretch of summer.
  • I was pretty social this week! I had a friend and coworker over to help us identify some of the plants we have on our property; had a different friend over to play some games; went to see a Fleetwood Mac cover band with some of my partner’s coworkers; and had my sister and her boyfriend over to go hiking and out to lunch.

  Reading

  • An unrelenting sense of longing (or: “Maps”) by Keenan. “Maps” rocks and I love reading fellow music sickos.
  • Death Is Not an Option by Suzanne Rivecca. Plugging along, slowly. Rivecca’s prose is excellent but none of the stories have really gripped me; all the protagonists are of a singular type that I don’t really connect to.

  Watching

  • Into the Aether’s Pokemon Emerald Nuzlocke We finished it this week — a tragic end to a great series. RIP TONYSOPRAN.

  Playing

  • Pokémon White Version. Played here and there; I think I’m losing my enthusiasm for it.
  • We had a friend over and played a little Rock Band and Mario Party Superstars.
  • Final Fantasy XIV. Just a bit on Sunday night; focusing on leveling my Marauder (almost to 50!) and my Squadrons. I’ve also started doing my Sylph Beast Tribe quests again because I want the Goobbue Mount.

  Listening

  • Oblivion Will Own Me and Death Alone Will Love Me (Void Filler), Every Moment of Every Day, and Fates Worse Than Death, Short Fictions. I saw Short Fictions at Warsaw when they opened for Los Campesinos! I really enjoyed them live and sat down to listen to a few of their albums (they were kind enough to post their setlist!). Their music lacks some novelty compared to the live performance, but I still like a few songs — notably, “Anymore,” “Nothingness Lies Coiled at the Heart of Being (It’s Such a Good Feeling),” and “Forever Endeavor.”
  • “Feather Test” by A Weather. This may be my song this year.² I fell in love with it a few months ago and returned to it this week. I love, I love, I love (I will, I will). A beautiful, breathy mix of fleeting, intersecting harmonies with a rich and simplistic production. Every line strikes. (“Brush your hand / Across where you felt me / Do I pass the feather test?”)

  ---

  1. Also, importantly, I blog to write, not to be read. I guess. ↩︎

  1 Sep 2024
• I want to sleep and dream alone (week notes 006)

  Doing

  • I was at school one day this week for an orientation for some student leaders.
  • I went to Six Flags and realized I’m old; my tolerance for roller coasters is, suddenly, shockingly low.
  • Feeling extreme relief but also guilt for being such an introvert — lately I feel I’m an anti-social loner, but friends have reassured me that these feelings are normal and everyone enjoys and protects their alone time (to an extent, depending on the person). All I really want to do is be alone in my house, left to do my silly little projects.
  • I’m trying still to move away from big, corporate social media — I have been spending more time on Mastodon and the bearblog discover feed. I’ve scarcely opened Twitter, and I’ve set 30m app timers for Facebook and Instagram. I rarely hit it for either, but something about knowing the timer is there makes me more conscious of the time I’m wasting on them. I’m not happy yet with my screen time as a whole, but at least I feel I’m seeing more of real people (and people I choose to follow) than algorithms and dark patterns.
  • On Friday, I went to IKEA with a friend and my sister to get some things for the house and a few items for my classroom.
  • I intended to go into school on Saturday and begin some of the physical setup I need to do, but I felt sick and exhausted. I took a COVID test (negative) — I’m hoping it’s just holdover from a long day of driving on Friday.

  Reading

  • Studying to be a teacher in the modern day by Sparrow. I feel the same about teaching as Sparrow: it’s a hard career to choose in today’s education system and economic climate, but teaching is so intrinsically part of me that I can’t see myself doing anything else. Even with the stress, the low pay, the poor working conditions, I love it.
  • What a demure, mindful, and brat summer by Kayla. Great introspective piece on trends and shifting mindsets. As I get older, I’m less connected to fads (especially because I’m not on TikTok and have curated my social media feeds), but I do try hard to understand them — I never want to be someone who brushes things off as “kids these days” absurdity and who blames the younger generation for every societal woe. Brat summer and demure sound silly, but there’s importance in trying to understand what matters to young people¹ — and we can only reach state of cooperation and harmony through mutual understanding and respect.
  • Help! I Invited My Coworkers Into a Very Personal Part of My Life. Now I Really Regret It. by Hillary Frey. I read Dear, Prudence often to satisfy my busybody tendencies and, occasionally, to talk through social quandaries with my partner. The first letter here hit particularly hard; I am a teacher and regularly have coworkers ask super invasive questions about my family planning. I’m friends with someone who went through IVF and she’s opened my eyes to how these “innocent questions” (they’re not) can hurt folks dealing with infertility. I’m not, but even I find questions about whether I’m trying for a baby super invasive!
  • finding kindness online by ava. A great piece about connection in gaming. I have baggage with video game-centric spaces online, but this gives me some hope.

  Watching

  • America’s Next Too Model, cycle 1. Mostly passive viewing while folding laundry, but cycle 1 has a special quality. It feels less like a reality show and more like a documentary about what it’s like to be on a reality show. The budget is clearly low and the show hadn’t established its structure just yet, so the contestants learn how the show works along with us. It feels grounded and authentic — for a season of Top Model, that is.
  • Into the Aether’s Pokemon Emerald Nuzlocke Joe and I are continuing this and still really loving it!

  Playing

  • Final Fantasy XIV. I’m slowly working through the post-Stormblood patch content. Joe is still playing through A Realm Reborn, so I’m levelling Warrior to do dungeons alongside him as a new class. I’m enduring the slow, painful grind of levelling my Squadrons, too. I like the concept of Squadrons — they remind me of my beloved Final Fantasy Tactics Advance,² but unfortunately there is very little variety and a lot of waiting involved here.
  • Pokémon White Version. I was inspired to jump into a Pokémon game by the Nuzlocke Joe and I are watching. I’ve never really played White; maybe a year ago I did the first three gyms, but I remember none of it. I started it over on Saturday night.

  Listening

  Nothing really specific — just some shuffles. I have, however, started tracking my listening data to listenbrainz!

  26 Aug 2024
• the secrecy won't keep you free (week notes 005)

  Doing

  • This week I learned that I’m allergic to yellowjacket stings in the worst way possible (not that there’s a good way). I was attacked by a nest of them while mowing the lawn and had to go to the ER.
  • Contemplating my intense introversion.
  • I was able to finally get together with a dear friend for a walk through the park — we have been trying to see each other for a while now but schedules and weather kept getting in the way. Talking to her, a kindred spirit, nourishes me.

  Reading

  • The Basic Eight by Daniel Handler. Finished in the first hours of this week. I wrote up a full post with my thoughts.
  • Death Is Not an Option by Suzanne Rivecca. I’m about halfway through this. It’s middling; there’s a lot of weird sex that I simply do not connect to, and all of the narrators / protagonists feel the same even though this is a collection of unrelated short stories.
  • There’s an apostrophe battle brewing among grammar nerds. Is it Harris’ or Harris’s? by Holly Tamer. This is the kind of presidential race news coverage I want to see in this world.

  Watching

  • Into the Aether’s Pokemon Emerald Nuzlocke. I really like Into the Aether and the TWG network, and Joe is a big fan of watching Pokemon challenges on YouTube. We are not far in, but we are enjoying it so far.

  Playing

  • Rock Band 4. I have a friend visiting this week — it’s a great party game.
  • Carcassone. A board game staple in my house.

  Listening

  • Nothing particular beyond some shuffles, but my mom came over with her old Fleetwood Mac records and we realized that my record player has been spinning slightly too fast (~33.7rpm instead of 33.3). I noticed it months ago with Mac Miller’s GO:ODAM, but I thought it might just be the press. We fixed it and now I feel I have to re-listen to all my records.
  18 Aug 2024